Staying sober on Thanksgiving might be a scenario you’ve worried about. Thanksgiving is a big drinking holiday, as are the days surrounding it. It can be hard to feel good about recovery when you’re watching your friends and family go out to have a good time. While these feelings are normal, it’s up to you to change the way you look at things. 

For example, if you tell yourself that you’re missing out, you’re setting yourself up to be unhappy. Instead, you can tell yourself that you’re finally going to have a Thanksgiving without embarrassing moments, unnecessary arguments or hangovers. 

Here are five practical ways to help you stay sober on Thanksgiving while still participating in all the fun! 

1. Remember the Purpose of Thanksgiving 

We do not celebrate Thanksgiving to get drunk. Rather, this celebration is about family, friends and food. It’s a time to give thanks and be grateful for all the things you have in your life. And this year, you probably have a lot to be thankful for! 

Your sobriety is one example, plus you may have rekindled relationships, learned about yourself, healed past trauma and improved your mental and physical health. A great Thanksgiving is about food, thankfulness, friends and family – NOT drugs and alcohol. 

2. Choose Your Plans in Advance 

Perhaps you were invited to someone’s house for Thanksgiving, or maybe you feel more comfortable hosting the holiday yourself. Either way, try to come up with a plan several weeks in advance, so that you can put your mind at ease. 

Depending on your situation, you may have to change your plans from previous years. If you know there will be an endless supply of alcohol at your aunt’s house, see if you can spend the holiday with another group. Once you make the decision, you’ll feel better and start planning for a fun holiday. 

3. Bring Your Own Drinks 

How open you choose to be about your recovery is up to you. You can tell people you’re not drinking ahead of time, but it’s always helpful to bring your own non-alcoholic drinks. This way, you’ll have something enjoyable to drink, and people will be less likely to ask questions. 

Some popular drinks that our own clients recommend for social situations are Liquid Death, bubble tea, mocktails, seltzers, apple cider, eggnog and even candy infused beverages! Experiment, have fun and see what new drink recipes you can come up with! 

4. Plan for Obstacles 

You can’t control other people – you can only control your responses to them. Don’t obsess, but consider how you will handle potential obstacles. For example, if someone asks why you aren’t drinking, what do you feel comfortable telling them? You can practice your responses for staying sober on Thanksgiving in the mirror or with a friend. 

Or, what if you start feeling uncomfortable at dinner? Do you have an exit strategy that will get you to your car and home as quickly as possible? And what if someone pressures you to drink or use drugs? Are you prepared to say no? Planning for these challenges will help you handle them more confidently. 

5. Have Your Support System Available 

Let your support system know what you will be doing for Thanksgiving. It’s best to bring a sober friend or family member with you for support, but if you can’t, make sure you have someone on call. For instance, the members of your 12-step group can answer your phone call or text if you need them. And you can do the same for them! 

Even though Thanksgiving is a family holiday, it can still involve a lot of drinking and potential for family drama. Pick a place where you know you’re most likely to feel welcome and at ease. This year may be different, but you’re starting a new chapter of traditions!