Being able to successfully process negative and painful emotions like fear or sadness is part of life. That can also make us feel uncomfortable and challenge our ability to cope. Some people also push negative feelings away, which can lead to problems with mental health and substance abuse. To prevent problems from happening down the road, it’s good practice to deal with uncomfortable emotions head-on.
Below is a step-by-step guide for dealing with painful emotions in a healthy way.
Step 1: Identify your feelings.
When you feel a painful emotion, take note of it. Where in your body do you feel it? For example, some people will feel a lump in their throat or knots in their stomach.
As you pay attention to how you’re feeling, also note what judgments you have, what contradicting thoughts you are experiencing, and whether or not you’re trying to suppress your emotions.
If you can’t do this at the exact moment, table it for later. But do address it.
Step 2: Accept your feelings as they are.
As uncomfortable as painful emotions can be, they will not hurt you. So let them come to the surface so that you can deal with them. Practice slow breathing or slowly count to ten. Ask yourself if the feeling is tolerable or intolerable, and what you can do to help it pass.
Step 3: Understand why you are having the emotion.
As you let the emotions come to the surface, think about why they are happening. Do you have needs that are not being met? Has someone violated a boundary? Has a childhood memory been triggered?
There are so many reasons why emotions come out in us, and it’s frustrating when we don’t understand why. But if you can look deeply into yourself without judgment, you can hopefully find where this distress is coming from.
Step 4: Address your negative emotions.
When you know what’s causing your feelings, you can better address it. For instance, some emotions are tied to childhood memories. If this is the case, you’ll have to work through the trauma and let it go. If your emotions come from distorted thinking, a helpful strategy is to reframe your thinking healthier.
Here are some other ways to address your emotions:
- Re-establish your boundaries
- Express your thoughts or feelings in a journal
- Realign your values and take action
- Get your needs met (i.e., eat a snack, take a nap)
- Let the feeling pass
- Apologize or make amends
- Enjoy a hobby or activity
Step 5: Reach out for help.
It’s important to know when to ask for help. There will be times when you can process your emotions on your own, and times when you may need support. Help comes in many forms. It may be talking to a trusted friend or family member, scheduling a session with your therapist, or speaking with your 12-step sponsor.
The last thing you want to do is bottle up your emotions. Painful emotions can live in the body – they do not just go away. Learning to deal with uncomfortable feelings helps remove negativity, so you can approach each day with a clean slate and a positive frame of mind.
Awakenings Treatment Center is here for you when you need help. Contact us today to learn more about our continuum of care and the treatments we have available.
