Trauma bonding occurs when a person forms deep emotional attachment to their abuser. This bond arises from a combination of fear, love and dependence, resulting in a complex and challenging dynamic. While trauma bonding can be seen in many instances, it’s not uncommon in relationships that also involve substance use. 

If you are concerned that trauma bonding exists between you and someone else, or a loved one and someone else, it’s important to seek professional help. A trained counselor or therapist can help you recognize this pattern of abuse and offer strategies for healing. In the meantime, let’s learn more about trauma bonding, its characteristics and its causes. 

What is Trauma Bonding?

Also known as Stockholm Syndrome, or abusive bonding, it occurs when a victim develops an intense bond with their abuser. It is commonly observed in abusive relationships, cults, hostage situations and other instances of prolonged trauma. The bond often arises as a survival tactic, as victims seek to mitigate emotional pain and maintain a sense of security within their abusive environment.

Characteristics of Trauma Bonding

Trauma bonds can look different in relationships, but here are some tell-tale signs: 

• Intermittent reinforcement. Abusers frequently alternate between acts of kindness and cruelty, creating a sense of unpredictability and confusion for the victim. 
• Isolation and dependence. Abusers are often successful in isolating their victims from friends, family and other sources of support. This isolation increases the victim’s dependence on the abuser, making them feel like they have no alternative options.
• Emotional manipulation. It’s common for abusers to use various manipulative tactics, such as gaslighting, guilt-tripping and playing mind games, to control their victims. Over time, these tactics destroy the victim’s self-esteem and reinforce the trauma bond.
• Cognitive dissonance. Victims of trauma bonding may experience cognitive dissonance, a psychological state of holding contradictory beliefs or feelings. They may recognize the abuse while still holding onto hope that the person will change. 

Causes and Contributing Factors

There is no single cause that contributes to the development of trauma bonding. Instead, it’s usually due to a combination of factors, such as: 

• Childhood trauma. Individuals who have experienced early childhood trauma, such as physical or emotional abuse, are more vulnerable to trauma bonding in adulthood. The abuse may feel strangely “normal” and acceptable to them.
• Low self-esteem and dependency. Individuals with low self-esteem or a history of codependency may be more susceptible to trauma bonding. They may seek validation and acceptance from their abuser, believing they are unworthy of healthier relationships.
• Lack of social support. A lack of supportive relationships or a weak support system increases the likelihood of trauma bonding. Victims may feel trapped and perceive their abuser as their sole source of emotional connection and support.

The Implications and Recovery

Trauma bonding can have long-lasting psychological and emotional effects on individuals. It can hinder their ability to recognize and break free from abusive situations, and increase their risk of mental health and substance use disorders. However, recovery is possible with the appropriate support and resources.

• Education and awareness. Understanding the dynamics of trauma bonding is crucial in helping individuals recognize the signs and patterns in their relationships. Education empowers victims and survivors to seek the necessary help and support.
• Therapy and support groups. Professional therapy, particularly trauma-focused therapy, can provide a safe space for individuals to process their experiences, address emotional wounds and develop healthier coping mechanisms. 
• Rebuilding self-esteem and boundaries. Rebuilding self-esteem is an essential part of recovery. Learning to establish and maintain healthy boundaries is also crucial in preventing future situations.
• Cultivating healthy relationships. As survivors heal, it’s essential to develop healthier relationship patterns. Building supportive connections with trustworthy individuals fosters a sense of security and helps break the cycle.

Mind-Body Healing at Awakenings Treatment Center 

Trauma bonding is a complex psychological phenomenon that can significantly affect individuals caught in abusive or traumatic relationships. This dynamic is something we see at Awakenings Treatment Center. Unfortunately, addiction relationships are often dysfunctional and involve codependency and trauma bonding.

With our mind-body approach to healing and trauma-focused care, we’re able to help our clients recover from their substance use, while also building self-awareness, self-esteem and other essential life skills. To learn more about our outpatient services in Agoura Hills, CA, contact Awakenings Treatment Center today.